"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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