I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We just shotgunned beers for America
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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