I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
