The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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