If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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