WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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