literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
