Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
