one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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