In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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