he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
