oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do herpes really smell.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
