More tranny stories later!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
