Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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