I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
