They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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