you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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