Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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