i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
