About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
