I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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