Where did you get a picture of my penis
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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