I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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