whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
