youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
