I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
