Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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