I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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