Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize