you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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