I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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