I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
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I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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