the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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