that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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