I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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