I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
