honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
