We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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