just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
