Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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