This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
