I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
this boner is exhausting
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize