He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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