I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
