a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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