no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
