My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
