sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
