Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
