she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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