Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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