Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
