You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
