Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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