Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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