CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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