If i come over, it means nothing
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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