But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
