I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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