Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Randomize
Follow @tfln