Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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